1 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:06,005 (rhythmic music) 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,506 - Welcome to the office. 3 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:10,676 A lot of graffitis here at the Public Lass 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,386 and people have been saying a lot of mean things 5 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:16,014 about Barbara since she became the new boss lady 6 00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:18,142 so I thought that I would come down here 7 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:21,103 and write something nice, so check it out. 8 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,647 I heart the Pubic Lass 9 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,983 our amazing sponsor. 10 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:28,319 Oh, don't look at that, no. 11 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,820 This, this is actually... 12 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:32,197 This is really bad, we're about to get rid of this because, 13 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,490 this is actually like- 14 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,993 (Ann): Boris, what're you... Oh, my God, Boris! 15 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,203 I told you, you can't be writing defamatory shit 16 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,913 about my boss on the wall! 17 00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:43,083 - I did not write this, I wrote this amazing piece down here, 18 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:45,044 which is actually a huge compliment 19 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,670 and also you know that this is not true. 20 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,339 - Isn't it, a little bit? 21 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,465 - Would a professional gay hater 22 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,883 be having sex with me in her car? 23 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,092 - I don't know, maybe. 24 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,011 - I think I know what we've got to do. 25 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:58,390 You have to show the secret footage. 26 00:00:58,391 --> 00:00:59,600 - No, no, no. 27 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,393 - We're going to show it, because it's going to prove 28 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:04,063 that this slur, this is slur, right? Slur? 29 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,356 - Well, it's debatable, but I- 30 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,316 - We're going to prove that this slur, not true. 31 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,401 Don't you think we should show it? 32 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,111 - You know what, I don't know if the footage 33 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,030 is going to prove what you think it's going to prove, 34 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,657 but it's going to prove something. 35 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,241 (chuckling) 36 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,994 I'm here for a good time, so, roll the tape. 37 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,371 - High-five. - Oh. 38 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,997 - Touched the urinal with that hand. 39 00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,540 (sighs) 40 00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:26,169 (theme music) 41 00:01:55,907 --> 00:02:00,537 (tense music) 42 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,163 - Let's show our amazing sponsor, 43 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,373 the Public Lass Bar and Grill, 44 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:07,000 that we are a team worth paying for! 45 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,753 - Yeah, listen, about that. 46 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:11,338 You had an announcement for us- 47 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,340 - And now we have one for you, okay. 48 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:16,719 - Joanne, bad news. Crystal sold the bar. 49 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,762 - Yeah, some dumb-ass corporation bought it 50 00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,264 like three months ago. 51 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,724 - Sold the bar, what does that mean? 52 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,142 - Here you go, Honey. 53 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,253 - It means we don't have a sponsor anymore. 54 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,732 (car skidding to a stop) 55 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,610 - So, the league won't let us play without a sponsor. 56 00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,740 Can you imagine trying to find a new sponsor in this economy? 57 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:39,950 In 2016 58 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,286 I would've had corporations fighting 59 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,246 to sponsor my gay team, 60 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,831 but, uh, I don't know, 61 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,542 my bank is looking pretty straight this Pride Month. 62 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,461 Anyways, welcome to the Public Lass. 63 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,671 Let's go get our girl back! 64 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:54,340 (exhales heavily) 65 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,842 - Joanne, wait. - How'd you get here? 66 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,470 - I ran. And the rest of the team is coming too, 67 00:02:59,471 --> 00:03:02,347 but I'm way faster, because I had to stop you. 68 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,433 - Stop me from what? Saving this season? 69 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,642 - From getting me fired. 70 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,436 My new boss, she already hates me, 71 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,896 and if she sees you looking all crazy, 72 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,272 coming in here with your blazer, 73 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,316 asking her to pay money for some loser baseball team, 74 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,650 I mean, she's going to make it my fault. 75 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:16,445 - Why does she hate you? - Because she's a prude. 76 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,155 And she thought it was unprofessional 77 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,990 that I put my number on a married couple's bill. 78 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,451 What's next, I can't have sex in the walk-in fridge? 79 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,620 - Look, just let me talk to her, let me meet her. 80 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,497 - There's no way that that lady 81 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,457 would sponsor a queer beer league team, 82 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,876 she's all like, "God, I love my husband, I'm conservative." 83 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,213 - Come on, I'm charming. 84 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,798 I really need a win. 85 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,132 (sighs) 86 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,425 - Fine. 87 00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:40,135 Okay, but you are not allowed to charge me rent 88 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,220 if she fires me, okay? 89 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,931 She's probably in the kitchen. 90 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,849 Okay, don't look the line cooks in the eye. 91 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,559 (Barb): Listen up, you little fruitcake! 92 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,436 You were too busy swiping for a Grindr Daddy 93 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,772 to take you to a play party, or whatever the hell it is 94 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:54,608 you homos do, to make sure that my Uncle Dino doesn't die 95 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,111 over a plate of Cheesy McLass Spinach Dip! 96 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,406 You clean that up, you little twink! 97 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,865 - Hey, Barb. 98 00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,410 - Shit. 99 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,496 Making it official here at the Public Lass, 100 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,040 I, Barb Barberetti, an ally, 101 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,377 am thrilled to be continuing the time-honoured tradition 102 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,379 of sponsoring Coach Joanne's 103 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,089 queer baseball team, 104 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,299 the gay and lesbian Brovaries! 105 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,552 - Uh, we're actually a slo-pitch team, so- 106 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,971 - So that's great, I think we're done here, right? 107 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:26,515 We're good? Okay, so, uh, yeah. 108 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,308 If you guys want to head out, you can feel free 109 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,894 to grab a couple of those haggis-penos poppers, 110 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,187 take as much as you want, 111 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,689 I gotta move a lot of haggis, to be honest. 112 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,651 Joanne, can I have a word, please? Thank you. 'Kay? 113 00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:39,111 We're going to get a few things straight. 114 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,487 I am running for city councillor, 115 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:43,449 and that means that my image needs to be spotless. 116 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,242 I'll sponsor a little lady baseball team, 117 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:46,744 but that means you are going to 118 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,579 have to live up to the Barberetti brand. 119 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,622 - We're very brand-friendly. 120 00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,834 - No swearing, no drinking, no uncouth behaviour. 121 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,335 - No drinking? 122 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,255 - Is that going to be a problem? 123 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,841 - Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug! 124 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:03,260 - No, not a problem at all, actually. 125 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,262 The team's not really big on beer, so. 126 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,474 - Alright, so, my voting base? Family values. 127 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,226 It's dads who are on Facebook too much, you know? 128 00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,436 That kind of thing. 129 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,313 Also, this sponsorship, it's conditional. 130 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,648 - Conditional on? 131 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,650 - Your discretion with the, uh, 132 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,319 little incident that happened earlier. 133 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,820 You're going to have to talk to your crew. 134 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,908 - Absolutely. Yeah. The footage never happened. 135 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,534 Alright. - Yeah. 136 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,495 - Thank you? - You just... 137 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,413 I'm a busy woman, you know what I mean, 138 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,915 I got a lot going on, don't have time 139 00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:36,001 for little handy-shakey bye-byes. None of that. 140 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,087 (all): Joanne! 141 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,171 (Lee): Did you do it? 142 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,422 (Ann): Barb agreed? - Yeah. 143 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,883 - That woman is a psychopath, Joanne. 144 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,551 - Do you know something that I don't know? 145 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,720 - Not here, come on. 146 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,682 Come on. 147 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,937 You're in the circle of trust now. 148 00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,064 This? Off the record. Come. 149 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,108 Hiyah. 150 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:03,278 Welcome to the scene of the crime. 151 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,739 Allow Boris to paint you a picture. 152 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,325 Three Wednesdays ago, I was cutting the grass 153 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,662 at the church that I sometimes cut the grass for, for money. 154 00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,956 And on the lawn, there is a lady. 155 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,834 She's giving a speech. - And was the lady Barb? 156 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:20,170 - Yes, that lady is Barbara, as she is known to me. 157 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:23,006 My muscles are rippling 158 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:27,052 as they often do when I give the lawn shaver a nice heave-ho. 159 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,638 And then, the next thing I know, this lady is coming over to me 160 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,725 and she is saying, "Oh, would you like to go for a drive?" 161 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,351 - No, she didn't. - Yes, she did. 162 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,894 - Let her finish the story. 163 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,063 - So then, we park behind the Taco Bell 164 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,648 and we start having sex, 165 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:43,569 and it is very nice, like top five sex. 166 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:47,406 (moaning in pleasure) 167 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,867 (Boris): So I say to her, "Maybe next time, 168 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:52,578 before we have sexual relations in the back of your car, 169 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,371 we could have a hot dog together." 170 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:57,751 Then, boom. She freaks out. 171 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,011 (Boris): From there, it got even worse. 172 00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:14,600 I'm running, I'm running, I'm running for my life. 173 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:18,020 My underwear is falling off, and then I go, "Boom!" 174 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,897 Parkour into a hiding spot. 175 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,566 - I'm sorry, Boris, I don't buy it. 176 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,361 - Well, okay, well then, how do you explain this, huh? 177 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,738 Campaign pin 178 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,033 that she threw at my ass. 179 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:33,160 I still have the open wound on my butt, 180 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,620 which I will show you now. 181 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,205 - No! No, no, no. We believe you. 182 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,790 - Thank you. It's very serious. 183 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,417 I'm very sorry, but Joanne, if she is our sponsor, 184 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,752 then I cannot be playing. 185 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:42,711 - What? 186 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,588 - I'm sorry, I'm not going to do it. 187 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,632 It's me or her, Joanne. You made a huge mistake. 188 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,509 - How about a little gratitude? 189 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:51,929 I found us a team sponsor! I saved the team! 190 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,473 And, yeah, we're going to follow her stupid rules 191 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,558 of no swearing and no drinking. 192 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:58,185 (together): No drinking? 193 00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,979 - No drinking! Yeah! 194 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,064 (sighs) 195 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,732 Now, if you excuse me, 196 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,485 I have to go bribe a producer into deleting some footage. 197 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,778 - There goes the summer. 198 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,114 - Boris, you can't just not play, we need you. 199 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,198 - This is unbelievable. 200 00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:12,950 - Sasha, 201 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:16,620 are you still an expert at applying disguise hair? 202 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,248 - Extensions? Yeah. 203 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,375 - And Lee, you're a teenager, 204 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,752 so you're an expert at hiding secret beer. 205 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:24,962 - I am. 206 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,922 - Hm. Okay, I have a plan. Come with me. 207 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,843 We will discuss it over here. Yes. 208 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,512 I can't believe that we're getting 209 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,847 all these beers for free. 210 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,390 - They're not free, we're stealing them. 211 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:37,641 - What? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 212 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,601 So we gotta move fast, because if Barb finds out 213 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,602 she'll kill me. 214 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:41,854 - Yeah, Barb, fuck. 215 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,230 Sasha says that she's got the great disguise 216 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,606 she's going to put me in. 217 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,066 Barb's never going to recognize me during the game. 218 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,402 - Great. And then, what are we going to do with the beer? 219 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,280 - This, we are going to hide 220 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,907 in a super sneaky hiding spot 221 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,785 that Joanne is never going to find. 222 00:08:56,786 --> 00:09:00,998 - I found Boris' secret beer stash. 223 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:04,126 And I'm hiding it behind the scoreboard 224 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:07,087 because they never look there, 225 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:10,174 because they don't care about winning games. 226 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:13,052 But they're going to learn. 227 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,970 Game one, folks. 228 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,847 Okay, we've got a lot of good things going for us. 229 00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,390 I know we're short a player, 230 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,476 but we're going to figure that out today- 231 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,728 - Joanne! Where is the secret beer? 232 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,355 She hid the beer, the beer is gone. 233 00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,439 - What? - No! 234 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,483 - Boris, what the hell are you wearing? 235 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,109 - My question first. Beer. Where? 236 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,570 - I hid it, okay? Today is a sober game. 237 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,155 (all shouting) 238 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,366 - Fine! Then I will find it, because I did not let Sasha 239 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,452 put all of this itchy public hair on my face for no beer. 240 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,579 - It's not public hair, 241 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,456 it's just the scruff from my sister's dog. 242 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,291 - Is that supposed to be a disguise? 243 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,542 - Yeah! It's amazing. 244 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,004 Today, I am B-FED. 245 00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:51,548 He's a skateboarder mechanic. And he drinks beer! 246 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,801 - Barb is never going to buy this. 247 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,053 - Yes, she will. - She won't! She's very- 248 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,429 - Wow! Okay. 249 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,139 - Hey! Hey, Barb! 250 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,476 - So, is this what it feels like to own a sports team? 251 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,228 Alright. Good. 252 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,647 Alright, well, let's see, let's get a look at you. 253 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:10,484 Okay. So. Alright, yeah. 254 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,695 Okay. Yeah, I like it. 255 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,863 So, these jerseys look expensive. 256 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,865 Just so you know, you'll be paying for those, Joanne, 257 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,325 they're not in the... 258 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,743 Well... 259 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,579 I like the cut of your jib, young man. 260 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,665 - 'Sup. 261 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,834 - Okay. Alright, good. 262 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:29,795 So, today you are representing 263 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,755 the Barberetti Food Conglomerate. 264 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,425 So, the speech is, 265 00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:36,552 God bless, 266 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:40,724 go forth, don't embarrass me. 267 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,474 Play ball. 268 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,351 - You got it. 269 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,853 (chuckling) - Funny little... 270 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,397 Okay, great, good. Yep. 271 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:51,150 - We're going to make you proud out there, alright? 272 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,443 - Proud as pie. 273 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,653 - I'm the owner! It's all mine! 274 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,739 - Okay. She bought it! 275 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,074 - Yeah, I told you she would. Amazing disguise. 276 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,786 - No. No beer! No beer, guys. Just slo pitch today. 277 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,788 Alright? Let's go. 278 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,206 (Boris): Fine. Sure. 279 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,624 - Hup to it! 280 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,710 - But she bought it, you look hot. 281 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,170 (Boris): Yeah, I know. 282 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,922 - Alright, maggots. And that means you, too, subs. 283 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,467 - I didn't know you were gonna go all Full Metal Jacket on us. 284 00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:19,678 - Aye, aye, aye! Beer's not in my Subaru. 285 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,888 Focus, Boris. 286 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,807 Everybody, on the bench! 287 00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:26,810 (Zari): We'd probably be in a better mood with a case of beer. 288 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:28,270 - Oh, no. - Hey, Ann! 289 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,814 Your team still as shit as you are in bed? 290 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,442 (Ann): Mississauga Red Jox. Serious team rivals. 291 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:37,488 Five-time league champions, featuring three of my exes. 292 00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,114 - I hear they're even worse 293 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,532 than the smell of her basement apartment. 294 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,700 - Hey, that's my basement. 295 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,496 - Hey Ann. I sent you a song I wrote for you, 296 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:48,165 it's called Half a Tank and a Hole 297 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,416 Where Ann Used To Be. 298 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,419 It's country, your favourite. 299 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,629 (gagging) 300 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,506 - We should've brought more disguises. 301 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,715 - Yeah. 302 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,550 (ball whooshing) 303 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,804 - Beauty. Beauty, gone. 304 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,180 - Jesus Christ, is that their pitcher? 305 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,807 - You know this is slo pitch, right? 306 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,934 Emphasis on the word slow. 307 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,769 - Why, are you scared because we've got 308 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,646 the best female pitcher in the world? 309 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,273 Ayami Sato. Ever heard of her? 310 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,943 - You can't pitch overhand! - Yeah, yeah, we know. 311 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,903 Just showing you the big guns. 312 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:20,656 Now, quit stalling, let's start the game. 313 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,201 (whimsical music) 314 00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:25,452 - There we go. 315 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,329 (Barb): Try to hit it. 316 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,706 (grunting) 317 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,624 - Second! - B-FED, you're up! 318 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:31,709 Where the hell is B-FED? 319 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:34,337 - Excuse me! Have you seen any beer? 320 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:36,880 - Bend your knees, Ann. 321 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,383 - Can't hit without a buzz, Joanne. 322 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,636 - It's okay. Chin up, chin up. You got this. 323 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,389 - It's not that difficult, you have a whole bat! 324 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:48,267 - Alright, Lee, you're up. - Joanne, I need beer. 325 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,060 - Beer? You're barely 19, 326 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,229 you don't even need exercise, come on. 327 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:55,357 No beer. Where the hell is everybody? 328 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,900 - We are closing in. 329 00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,322 It's in here. I can smell it. 330 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,990 (Zari): Where the hell is the beer? 331 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,533 - You guys got some beer? 332 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:05,993 (grunting) 333 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:08,037 - Excuse me, have you seen the blue barrel? 334 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,747 About this big, it's got beer and it 335 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:12,083 says "Boris's secret stash?" Fuck! 336 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,419 - I don't like losing, Joanne! 337 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,628 Fuck off. 338 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,756 God, where is everyone? 339 00:13:18,757 --> 00:13:22,301 Timeout! Can you call timeout? I don't know. 340 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,761 - Who's the lady? 341 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,721 (Joanne): She's new. Just keep playing. 342 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,056 Sasha, you're up. 343 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,600 (Barb): I own this fucking team, I can say what I want. 344 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,310 - Hey. Hey, yeah, I know we're losing, 345 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,145 we just need one more inning and we'll turn it around. 346 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,147 - Yeah, sure, whatever. Listen, I've been thinking, 347 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,525 the name, the Brovaries, it's bad. 348 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,695 I'm thinking, the Barberettis. 349 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,238 - The Barberettis? 350 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,616 - Yeah. Want to honour my Nonna, you know? 351 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:48,953 Legacy, family... Oh, my God! 352 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,707 (yelling in German) 353 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:56,294 - Beer! 354 00:13:56,711 --> 00:14:00,215 (all cheering) 355 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,052 (epic music) 356 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,390 Beer! 357 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,396 - Is that beer? 358 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,692 - When they set their minds to something, 359 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,944 there is no stopping them. 360 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:24,655 - Okay, you need to go deal with that right now. 361 00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:28,367 - Barb, this team, my team, 362 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,910 we drink beer. 363 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,453 A lot of beer. 364 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,205 And if you have a problem with that- 365 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,834 - Oh, I do! Consider your little sponsorship revoked! 366 00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,128 Re-voked! 367 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:42,464 God, I can't believe I agreed to this team. 368 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,758 I'm never going to hear the end of this from father! 369 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,511 Get out of my way! 370 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:53,017 (gasping, swallowing) 371 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,978 - It's so warm. - It doesn't matter. 372 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,147 - This is my one day a week I get to let loose. 373 00:14:58,148 --> 00:15:01,275 I can only be PhD Zari for so long. Do not judge me! 374 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:03,610 (Ann): Uh-uh. No one's judging. 375 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,947 Oh, shit. Guys. 376 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,949 (panting) 377 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,743 Sorry, Joanne. 378 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,954 - No, I'm sorry. 379 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,957 What the hell was I thinking, asking you guys not to drink? 380 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,460 Not to be exactly who you are? 381 00:15:19,461 --> 00:15:21,296 Screw Barb. 382 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:25,549 We're going to figure this out our way. 383 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,468 - Take those championships! 384 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:29,428 (all cheer) 385 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,348 - Okay, are you guys forfeiting, or what? 386 00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,724 - No! - No! 387 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,434 - We're going to kick your a- 388 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,852 (rhythmic music) 389 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,228 (Red Jox player): Alright, come on, Red Jox, 390 00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:39,730 tight D now, tight D, tight D. 391 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:42,400 (cheering) 392 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,028 - Alright, motherfucker. 393 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,821 (cheering) 394 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,658 - Go one, go one. 395 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,869 - Hey, Parker. You suck. 396 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,079 Your mom sucks, you suck at fucking, 397 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,498 you suck at slo pitch, did I say your mom sucks? 398 00:15:57,499 --> 00:16:00,417 Oh, are you going to cry? You suck at crying. 399 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,753 - I got it, I got it, I got it. 400 00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,089 (cheering) 401 00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:07,080 Coming home, coming home, coming home. 402 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:08,926 Yeah! 403 00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:13,014 (cheering) 404 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,767 (all laughing and cheering) 405 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,560 - You guys know you lost, right? 406 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,438 - Yeah, whatever. 407 00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,691 - Joanne! 408 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,441 - I thought you left? 409 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,235 - Yeah, well, I came back to tell you something. 410 00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,363 You know that if you cross a Barberetti... 411 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,951 Is that... Boris? 412 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,285 - Hello. 413 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,787 (gasping) 414 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,956 - I tried to find you, I looked, 415 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,125 and I looked, but I didn't know how! 416 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,961 - What? No, you chased me away with your car! 417 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,172 - Yes, well, but... 418 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,424 Yes. 419 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:49,675 (clearing throat) 420 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,553 You know what, I, I will, 421 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,431 uh, sponsor the team. 422 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:58,225 I don't believe in second chances for criminals, 423 00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,686 not one bit, but I do believe in them 424 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:01,937 for the less fortunate. 425 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,815 Yeah, like you are. The less fortunate, so. 426 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:09,737 - Okay. But we drink beer, and we're not changing out name. 427 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:13,198 - Yeah, sure. LGBTQ, I don't... They vote. You know? 428 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:14,825 It's great, whatever. 429 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,785 - And you are not LGBT, gay? 430 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,997 - Gay? (laughing incredulously) Me? 431 00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:22,416 (laughing incredulously) I don't think so! 432 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:25,335 Not that, not that there's anything wrong with that. 433 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:27,838 I'm basically the world's biggest ally 434 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,840 for that whole group. 435 00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,258 Which are different. 436 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,345 Probably the biggest ally in the nation, 437 00:17:34,346 --> 00:17:36,889 including the U.S. and Mexico. 438 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,307 Good. 439 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:40,017 So. Joanne, my office on Monday, 440 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,894 we're going to talk strategy. 441 00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,395 (Joanne): See you there. 442 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,065 - So, good. And you guys, be yourselves, but not too much, 443 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:49,276 because it's annoying if you overdo it. Okay. Good. 444 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:51,820 (Joanne): See you Monday. 445 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,364 - Fuck, I don't know, man. 446 00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:55,658 I don't know if she wants to fuck me or kill me. 447 00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:58,410 (laughing) 448 00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,829 - And she wants to sponsor the Brovaries! 449 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,791 (cheering) - Yes, we got a sponsor! 450 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,167 - Who wants to be B-FED? 451 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,169 (laughing) - Try it on! 452 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:10,255 (whimsical music) 453 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,549 (all cheering) 454 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,177 (Joanne): She's not going to run you down with a car anymore. 455 00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:17,763 - I know, honestly, you guys, I think that she like, 456 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,223 might be in love with me. 457 00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:21,350 And so now it's my sworn duty 458 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,143 to help her out of the wardrobe. 459 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,478 Closet. 460 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:26,313 (phone dinging, gasping) - What? 461 00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,816 - Ah! Ah, nothing. - Did she text you? 462 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,067 - No, not the ex. 463 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,944 - Joanne, I told you to block her weeks ago. 464 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:35,155 - Oh, my God, read it out loud so we can all judge it, come on. 465 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,282 - Okay. "Hey, I don't want this to be weird, 466 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,952 but I joined the Tech-ass Rangers. Hope that's okay. 467 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:42,371 See you on the field. Waterslide emoji." 468 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,165 - What, no! Waterslide emoji is psychotic. 469 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,251 - Like, hold on. 470 00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:48,794 So, she just broke up with you 471 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,255 and then goes and joins another team in the league? 472 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,382 - And we play that team next game. 473 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,551 - Don't worry, Joanne, we're going to win that game, 474 00:18:55,552 --> 00:18:57,469 just like we did today. - Zari, we lost today! 475 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,014 - Oh, yeah. Well, we're going to win the next one! 476 00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,640 - Yeah. And the next one. - Yeah. 477 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,811 We are going to win you this whole break-up. 478 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,729 - Thank you, guys! 479 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,063 Thank you. 480 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,523 - To winning the break-up! 481 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:11,567 (together): To winning the break-up! 482 00:19:11,568 --> 00:19:13,694 - Aye! 483 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:15,654 (door chiming) 484 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,950 - Hey! I'm here with a little surprise for Barbara, 485 00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:21,827 I heard she was working late. 486 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,496 I don't want her to feel, you know, bad 487 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,749 about the whole Grindr Daddies incident. 488 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,834 I don't want her to think that, like, 489 00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,295 we're trying to blackmail her into sponsoring our team 490 00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:34,715 or something, so. I brought her this. 491 00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:38,218 (indistinct chattering) 492 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,096 Is that Boris? 493 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,931 Do you hear that? 494 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:45,392 (Boris): Awesome! And, okay, so. 495 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,686 Number one, top of Boris' big Boris list. 496 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,229 Cameron Diaz... 497 00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,606 - Uh, Barb? 498 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:53,150 - Get out of here! We're closed! 499 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:56,403 We're closed. Get out. 500 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,655 - For you. Okay. Bye. 501 00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:02,494 - Delete that footage. Delete it or I swear- 502 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:06,246 (Boris): ? If you are a good person ? 503 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,708 ? Then you are doing justice ? 504 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,752 Oh, good, it's you. Come on in. 505 00:20:11,753 --> 00:20:15,297 Julian Assange-ing. Whistleblowing. You know? 506 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,924 - No. - Yes! 507 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:18,008 - No, no, no, no. 508 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,259 - No, Annie, I have to do it! 509 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,594 - Oh, my God, what did I tell you? 510 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,179 You can't write shit like this on the wall. 511 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,430 - I know, but I had to, because- 512 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:26,642 - If! You're not going to leave a review. 513 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,770 - Oh, you're funny. - Mm-hmm. 514 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,773 - Well... 515 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,904 (marker squeaking) 516 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,323 Five stars. 517 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:44,034 (inhaling sharply) 518 00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:46,371 - The truth will set you free. 519 00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:49,623 (? Lager and Ale ? by Kim Mitchell) 520 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:54,921 ? 'Cause I'm ready willing and able ? 521 00:20:56,423 --> 00:21:02,387 ? Yes, I'm ready willing and able ? 522 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,894 ? Over to the jukebox I staggered ? 523 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:15,734 ? For a love song to scatter my body before her ? 524 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,989 Subtitling: difuze 525 00:21:21,039 --> 00:21:25,589 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0